Cat-astrophe
by Lokaal
Summary: Levi's cheeky cat steals Eren's favourite underwear.


**This (** **toxixpumpkin. tumblr** **post/101021230029/awkward-first-meetings-aus - ignoring the spaces, this thing didn't want to let me give credit)** **is the Tumblr post that inspired this and gave me the au. And I'd like to thank my sister (** **www. fanfiction** **u/6025764/Delmire , again, spaces)** **for bouncing around ideas with me.**

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There were few things that were more enjoyable than blissful weightlessness of sliding around the kitchen in socks. Eren juggled avoiding burning his dinner and mindlessly singing at the top of his lungs. "No, it's nothing wrong with me, the kids are all wrong, the story's all off, heavy metal broke my–" He banged his wooden spoon against the side of his frying pan twice. " _Heart!_ " Unfortunately this tipped the frying pan. Sizzling vegetables went flying, and though Eren tried to evade it by throwing his lower body back, they hit his shirt. He tried to avoid the sauce straining by leaping to the sink and taking a cloth to wipe it. Something caught his eye and he was instantly distracted.

He and the cat froze. A sleek furred feline sat in his window, on the other side of the glass, staring at him with intent green eyes. She was Eren's new neighbor's cat, with black fur and white on her chest, feet and a white moustache. That was not what made Eren pause. In the cat's maw, hanging from the edge of the elastic, was Eren's boxers. Not a normal, green or blue pair; no, these were vivid red with black hearts. Armin had given them to Eren last Christmas as a joke but they had quickly surpassed his dinosaur ones as his favourites. How this cat had managed to steal them was beyond Eren but that was not his immediate concern.

Eren was the first to move. He bolted out of the kitchen, very nearly groining himself on the kitchen island corner, and into the lounge. His feet tangled on his strewn clean clothes but saved himself from falling face first into anything. He all but hit the glass sliding door, fumbling with the handle, then flinging the door open.

The cat had not moved. She sat there, still as a statue, staring at Eren. As soon as he began forward, she whirled with flexibility belonging only to felines and dashed away. Eren's instinct was to give chase. "Come back you little shit!" He yelped as he ran out onto the damp grass of his back lawn, though he did not slow. He followed the trotting cat, who still held his boxers firmly in her mouth. They turned a corner and the cat was jogging up Eren's drive way. Tiny stones pricked Eren's feet and the street lights made it impossible to avoid them. Swearing and gritting his teeth, he pressed on.

The cat inelegantly shimmied up one of the neighbor's high fence poles, nearly tripping herself on Eren's boxers at the top. He laughed at her, muttering, "Serves you right." Her tail flickered as she watched him teasingly. Then, when he was reaching up to grasp her, she flung herself off the fence and landed with a _thump_ on the other side. At this stage Eren was so very determined that the detail of property was not going to stop him. He took hold of the top of the fence then hoisted himself up, murmuring under his breath, "Fucking fur balls," before he successfully got himself over. What he did not count on was a bush beneath. He groaned as his feet took the brunt of the fall, feeling twigs snap underneath them. Shaking his head he tried to walk forward, had a moment where he lost his balance and fell into the bush, then corrected himself. He soldiered on, eyes scanning for that damned cat.

In the middle of the front lawn in front of the Neighbor's house was the cat. She sat there, the boxers now out of her mouth and at her feet, almost inviting him to even try to take them back. Eren launched himself forward, going to his knees as he reached her. She tried to take the boxers again and flee, but he grabbed her around the belly and hips as she did so. "Now," Eren sat up, clutching her to his chest with one hand and trying to free his boxers with the other. "Give them back and I won't cause trouble."

He had not noticed that a black car had pulled into the neighbor's driveway just as he was jumping the fence. Eren did hear the car's door open and slam closed. That sound made his heart nearly stop and he froze. The car beeped and flashed its lights as it locked, followed by footsteps on a pathway. A man walked toward him, his slacks tidy, his dress skirt half unbuttoned and his tie loosely hanging from around his neck. He scowling at Eren, eyes narrowed through the dark and brows drawn together.

Eren could not think of anything else to say but, "Your cat steals underwear."

The man cocked on eyebrow but said nothing. The cat lost any apparent interest in Eren and his boxers, wriggling out of Eren's now lax grasp. She sauntered to her owner, meowing at him and rubbing against his legs, stepping around his polished shoes. Eren looked down at his beloved boxers, seeing teeth marks and pulls in the fabric from where she had sunk her teeth.

"The little thief dared me to chase her," Eren blurted, trying with failure to explain. "It was in the eyes. I had to chase her. These were a gift. A gift from an important friend. The way she stared it was like she knew…"

"She does that from time to time," the man finally spoke. Ignoring the feline at his legs he stepped forward and offered Eren a hand to stand. Taking it, Eren flushed as he stood and now towered over the man. For a moment the man considered something then spoke, "I can make you a dinner as an apology for my cat ruining your gift from an important friend."

Eren swore as realization hit him. "My dinner!" He spun on his heel and run but every fiber of him made him turn around again, stepping backwards as he called, "What's your name?"

"Levi. Yours?" He seemed completely unfazed by Eren's fleeing.

"Eren!"

In another moment Eren was running back down his driveway, cursing at the little stones again. He shot inside, smelling burning before he even got in the door. He threw his recused boxers on the ground with his other clothes. Smoke wafted up above his frying pan and he knew then his food was not salvageable. Miserably he threw his charred meal out and filled the pan with water to cool. For a moment he stood there, wondering why this had happened. He them recalled Levi and his dinner proposal.

He looked down at what he was wearing. Track pants, old socks and a stained t-shirt. Embarrassed at his state, Eren rummaged through his clothe pile and found jeans. Stripping his pants and slipping the jeans on, he looked for another shirt. He saw the button up skirt he always wore to job interviews then realized that dressing up was not the wisest thing to do. Instead he took a decent looking t-shirt and wore that instead. It took him a few minutes to find his sneakers, get them on his feet then persuade himself to leave the house.

At Levi's door, Eren almost did not knock. When he did, he tried not to panic when Levi didn't answer immediately. After a moment Levi opened the door and smirked. "Rethought it?"

"Something like that."

Levi stepped aside and motioned him to come into his home. Eren did, eyeing the cat who sat looking at him knowingly from the corner.

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 **Thank you very much for reading!**

 **Edit: Guys this is a one-shot.**


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